boy, you left your footprints on my heart__

Thursday, November 30, 2006

been quite awhile since i updated.
too much had happen for me to let you all know in a couple of words.
it`s madness.

to those who were really worried abt me.
no worries ya. i`ll be fine.

at times im really at a lost. i dunno what to do.
dunno where to go.
its like im stuck in the middle.
if im to take a step back ; it`ll not be what i want
if im to take a step forward ; things might not turn out to be the way i wanted.
and there`s no way that i`ll stay where i am.
it was really a trying period for me.
i hate to be vulnerable and emotional.
but somehow that`s who i am.
im glad there are ppl who i can turn to. talking to you definitely makes me feel better.
its better than bottling up every single thing inside.
i dunno since when i started to keep things to myself.
i din want to bother nobody. i din want them to worry abt me.
maybe that`s why. but god has his amazing way of letting me know that i have friends that care.

after so long. im still unsure of the situation now.
im still lost in this senseless situation.
but i promise myself i`ll be strong.

darling
i trusted you enough to give you my hand to hold.
i struggeld so much to trust you will not break my heart.
and i hope that i did not win that war in vain.
show me that i could still trust that sentence you said.
"this time the ending will be different"
i need to know this love is for sure.

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
4:08 PM

Saturday, November 25, 2006

its time for some poetry..

tear stained face
trembling lips
ruby nose and a broken heart
this was the girl staring back at me

forsaken in this land
drowning in this river of pain
emptyness echo in her cries

trapped beneath those smiles
nobody knows what`s within her
dont ever let the mirror tell you lies
reflections are what you see
nobody see that she is lost inside ; broken inside

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:37 AM

Thursday, November 23, 2006

the more you expects. the more disappointment you get.
the more you want something. the more it distance itself from you.
maybe that`s what happening.

or maybe the initial feelings are just fading away.
or maybe this is how things will always be after awhile.
or maybe there are some kind of explanations.
or maybe that is the end of the beautiful beginning.

or maybe im simply being ridiculous. being overly sensitive. and thinking too much.
fark it. i have enough.
the more i care the more bothered i am.
i wish i could care abt you so much lesser.
in the end i think you wun even be bothered at all.
its hurting. its bleeding. its crying.
the scars remind you that the past is real.

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
1:51 AM

happily skipped lectures today.
i have no idea why these days im just so tired.
was in time for tut thou.
and ffb was superbly fun today la.
and yes like xiang lin said. its more difficult than my lovely sudoku.
haha. i never wanna be a f&b manager planning roster.

after class went dwn to suntec and sent my phone for servicing.
have to! before my warranty expires. LoL.
and well was surprised that they told me all it takes was 1 day.
the previous time it took me an entire week.
so i shall work out something for tml`s schedule to collect it! (:

wanted breakfast tml. but guess its off. nvm. there will be time for it to come.

mummy back on sat. and shopping thereafter.
sun min`s wedding.
next week project full blast.
not gonna have a life for at least 2 weeks.
):

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
1:35 AM

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

woke up real late. but still manage to reach school in time.
it was madness rushing here and there. luckily i packed my bag last night! (:

been home since 1pm. bumming ard. watching tv.
service ended at 1030 this morning.
and yeah! im deployed to luge! thank god no changes!

it is always the case where you need 2 hands to clap.
and when one party is unwilling, there is pretty much nothing you can do.
sometimes i just wonder how insensitive can one get?
dun you feel any single thing at all?
fine. fark it. i wun care anymore.

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
5:09 PM

madness madness. was almost late for class.
i rushed like mad! and went aft that sentosa bus.
and thank god i wasnt. and it wouldnt mind even if im late today!
urgh!
anyway. mice q&a was not too bad. crap`d my way thru.
so god bless! (:

lunched and it was intensive acctgs cramming.
acctg tut was a total bore. i finished 6 sudoku puzzle in that 2 hours tut.
he can jolly well get a gun and shoot me each monday 2-4pm.
last hour of cramming acctgs b4 my paper.
and yay! i have free curry pok today.
hahahaha. thanks gerrard! (:

acctgs paper was actually quite easy if you really studied.
and well i din. but then its like omg! i read that just now. what is it hur?
and so. managed to crap my way thru too. hope that it aint that bad la.

it was 3 hours of tv-ing! and well. antm was great!
cant wait for next season. tempted to watch it on youtube like what aggy did.
hmm. should i should i not?
whatever.

service tml will end before 12 tml.
and what should i do after that????
sometimes i just wanna spend sometime with you. even if it means doing nth. being next to you is good enough. but guess you will never understand hur.
ANYWAY IM DROOLING OVER THIS!!! ((((:
look at THAT body!

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:35 AM

Monday, November 20, 2006

not a single proper meal in the past 24 hours.
no wonder im feeling hungry now. but im slpin soon.
so no food! ):

my ankle is hurting again. guess i din land my foot properly when i stood up.
fark. i dun want to go chinatown and have it rectify.
):

my lovely gold necklace is tarnished after a day.
wtf la! urgh!!!!
)):

mice project q&a tml first thing in the morning.
acctgs test after school tml.
and im sooooo not prepared! ):

lastly lastly.. after a trip to moo`s place
i no longer have that horrendous long hair.
its lightweight now. (:
but im not used to the length.
):

feeling sucky for the day cause i think that i dont deserve someone as good as you.
guess i just need tonnes of assurance.
im just some insecure pathetic ass.
):

i have no idea how my monday blues could just stay at bay.
it came earlier on a sunday night. ):
and nopex. its not the time of the month yet.

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
2:46 AM

Sunday, November 19, 2006

i hate it when i look up and the tears still fall
i hate it when we have differences
i hate it when ppl doubt me
i hate it when we quarrel

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:07 AM

Saturday, November 18, 2006

omg. my first jap lect and it was sugoi!
haha. firstly sanae`s voice was whiny beyond words.
urgh! cant tahan. luckily it was an hour lect.
and there was this somebody who was sitting behind me who just cant stop talking.
so irritating la!

lunch at koufu with da peeps. haas.
back to school and did research for jap presentation.
jap tut was hilarious. we were practically talking nonsense.
haha.

shopping at chinatown thereafter.
things are CHEAP!
bought quite a couple of stuffs. and pls pls pls.
i wanna go there again! (:

met up with sher aft shopping and just chilled.
crazy night out.

and so. after a night out late. mr boyfriend is ignoring me now.
urgh! sometimes i really dunno what to do.
aft a night out with my girls. im home to face something unpleasant.
i rather not go out and have any more fun if that`s the case.
haix. life`s such a bitch.

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
5:16 PM

Friday, November 17, 2006

let the pictures do the talking! (:

mr blindman and ms escort

he says:"im not gonna look at the cam" and kissed me.

and so he contd not looking at the cam

and again! he really refuses to look at the cam!

guess what? he was dancing ard while taking this pic.

he refuses to let me take. and when i did so. he`s anxious to look at it. silly boy!

dont my legs look long?heh

Xuan`s Wedding

that lil angel

all the jie meis and brothers.

family portrait

picture paints a thousand words. dont they? haha.

kristen is such an angel! she`s goddamn cute!!!

finally. blogger really sucks!
there`s all the pics after so long. (:
min min`s wedding up next!

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
2:10 AM

Thursday, November 16, 2006

this week is half gone. only weekends are left.
and well it went by in a blur. it was madness project rushing.
each day online will be doing reports, researching. editing.
it was seriously madness.
despite having a supposedly no life week. i still have a few highlights.
(:

sat aft project at freezing tp library
went dwn to tm w my groupmates. did a lil shopping.
and when they left i went over mr kwan`s place and pick him up.
haha! first time the tables are turned!
and so he was mr blindman and me ms escort for the day.
had dinner and then some slacks b4 heading home.

that poor guy. one look at him also can feel his pain.
ouch! those stitches and swollen eyes. poor thing.
anyway he`s getting well pretty good! (:
get totally well soon ya! (:

sunday woke up and got ready to meet mr boyfriend! (:
had a rather unpleasant start of the day. haiz.
just when everything was going well all this just have to pop out somehow.
irritating! argh!
anyway successfully made it to suntec and acc him for the motorshow.
my first time. and well there are loads of pretty cars! too bad there aint any mini.
):
there`s a subaru babe that is super chio!
din manage to get the stunt show tickets. and so we`re off for dinner.
dinner at swensens! and we had ice cream after that!! (:
yayness!!!
i tried my best to teach somebody how to cook pasta.
haha. bought the sauce and it was slacks at the fountain area.
hmm. left when it was time for home.
the night went past just liddat. ):

monday was super tiring. tuition ended real late and had a sickening journey home.
tuesday after class went dwn to brasserie wolf for lunch.
omg! the place is really super nice. service not too bad.
if it wasnt for school, the price will be super ex.
maybe once in awhile. special occasion. i`ll bring that special someone there! (:
had dinner with darling aft that. and it was home for project madness.

super lack of sleep has resulted me in skipping lectures for the past 2 days.
i cant help it la. too tired till cant even hear my alarm.
and so.. im super energised now!!! (:

this weekend most probably be bum`d.
):

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:13 PM

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

PROJECTS!

drained out. exhausted. ultra tired. fed up with myself.

call me ms miserable.

im superduperultimaltelytothemax grumpy.
come sayang me. will you?

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
5:29 PM

Friday, November 10, 2006

as the clock strikes 12. it signifies the fourth month being officially tgt with my darling boy.
i remember how in the past i used to make an effort to do something special on each celebration. but guess when you grow up all these things just fade away along the way. not that i dont want to do anything special. i really wanted to. i want to get him a lil something. but somehow there`s nothing nice i saw. so.. too bad. wait for xmas k? haha.

there aint nothing much i can do. so just some words for the man in my life! (:

darling. you have been such a sweetheart to me all this while. tolerating my nonsense trying your very best to give and take. of course there were quarrels when both of us doesnt seem to agree to anything at all. when both of us have our own opinion and neither wants to take a step back. it doesnt really help that we are equally stubborn. it was definitely a super trying period for us. its a test that we have to go thru. its a test of the love we have for each other. and well, the result its obvious ; aint it? our love is just strong enough to withstand all this trials. (:

my darling boy :
you are taking my heart away to a wonderland
you hold me in your arms ever so tenderly
you are all that i desire
its a thrill that i cant deny how you touch me deep inside
i feel your love every little way, every single day
not a moment in time, precious as every moment with you
the love we have is more than a miracle
and yes darling you are definitely more than a miracle in my life
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

truckloads of overspilling love for you only.

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:23 AM

Thursday, November 09, 2006

somehow transportation love playing hide and seek with me.
the moment i reach my house busstop. 142 just left.
the moment i reach potong pasir mrt ; 1 min to harbourfront.
its so obvious i cant make it. took my own sweet time and then the moment i step in. the train just left. nvm.
while im walking to seah im, the sentosa bus just left.
still ok. reach sentosa, there was this ridiculous class of 40 ppl and 20 odd tourists waiting for blue line. even if blue line comes now, i still wont be able to make it to class asap.
last resort. i walked to school. urgh!!!
@#$^#%*%^*#%

lectures was boring as usual. other than those jokes that nair said.
LOL!
tuition was postpone to 7pm initially.
so wanted to go shopping with wei hua and loretta.
b4 i leave sentosa sher called and asked me go watch movie.
haha. so we went. and then on the way to ps. that lil bugger called and cancelled tuition with me.
urgh! wtf la.
so me and sher we caught the 515 covenant.
omg. it was so cold in the cinema.
and we were seated btw couples and couples and couples. everywhere is couple.
the show was so so only la. only thing interesting is their powers and watching them fight.
other than that. it sucks. no story line at all. faints!
luckily it was 1 for 1.
aft that it was home sweet home!!! ((:

jap tml! yayness!
konichiwa, watashi wa priscilla desu. (:

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
11:51 PM

after those tedious and crazy cuisine research last night i was left with only 3 hours of sleep.
and yes. i so could not wake up this morning. missed f&b lect.
the one and only subject that im super interested in. damnit la!
somehow i still make it for facilities lect and lunch with my girls.
due to the lack of slp and boring subs. i was rather quiet during project discussions.
well well. hopefully i will be more on form these coming days.
mice is due next week. damnit laaaaa.

after school travelled dwn to novena and waited for darling.
walked ard for a short while b4 gg home.
just short time spent. walking home hand in hand. (:
and yes im contented with it.
and that`s definitely the luxury of staying so near.
i hate myself for being so dependent on you.
i hate myself for the constant need of being next to you.
im afraid one day you will just find me irritating. ):

sat most prob gonna be bum`d with projects.
but i need a nice dinner. somebody. anybody pls.
sunday working in the wee hours. and i hope to meet my darling boy on sunday. (:
guess i gotta adjust to the idea of not meeting him on saturdays anymore.
guess i gotta adjust to the idea that sat is no more bf day anymore.
its ok! i will still love you the same! (:

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:31 AM

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

lovely and tiring tuesday!
first time in 3 weeks im on time for class! woots!
please clap hand and give me an award! LOL!

service was boring at first. with all the role play and recapping.
early lunch and it was off to help mr lee with some ceremony thing.
something similar to cocktail reception. just clear their dirty plates and champagne flute.
the food looks ok only. i din get to eat the prawn! )):
mr nair was damn funny la!
he asked me if i had tried the food. i said no cause im suppose to be clearing the stuff.
and he was like "you want to try? want me to get some for you?"
omg!!! damn funny la! that will never ever happen in the real world.
i mean where got guests ask service staff if they wanna eat. LOL!

it was "packing up" after the event. we stayed in the tch`s lounge and ate whatever that was left. ((: the fruits was yummy! omg. kiwi! i ate countless of it la! ((:
cleared everything. back to class for wine opening and stuff. gotta practice more xia.
ms daga came and had a super duper hilarious session. i just couldnt stop laughing!
and it was the long awaited cocktail session thereafter!
OMG! we drank screwdriver, strawberry martini, bloody mary, margarita, singapore sling. he made black russian and flaming sambuca.
after the class i actually requested for another margarita and i shared with loretta!
LOL!!! (:

service is definitely fun!!! (:

roaming aimlessly at vivo alone to pass time so that i wun be too early in amk.
wanted to get something but couldnt find anything suitable.
bus`d dwn and wait for darling to end work.
dinner at lor.5 after that. walk`d home and it was playground time.
it has been damn long since we last sat at playground.
talked for quite sometime b4 gg home.

project project. 2 project due on the 16th. there goes my beauty slp each night!

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:36 AM

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

suffering from severe monday blues.
in the morning all the buses just seems to enjoy me cursing at them as they leave the busstop.
urgh!
MICE teacher (whateverhisnameis) was such a meanhead!
had 3 hours break with nothing much to do.
acctgs was seriously killing me!
that mr leong is really driving me crazy. his way of tut is so not gonna help me in accts la.
im so gonna depend on myself for this subject the entire semester.
lesson ended and it was dwn to amk for tuition.

she got back her papers and yeah! she failed 3 outta 4 subs.
i can really feel the pressure. she is really that weak.
i dunno how shld i go abt helping her. ):
guess imma bad tch after all.
but at least today she obediently did all the maths qns that i asked her to do.
and there aint any "i dont want to do"
so yes. there was not as much patience testing.
hopefully the entire holidays i can help her at least by abit!
and im so waiting for my payyyy.
priscilla is super broke now!
concession yet to buy, french dining yet to pay fully.
last week had a super sinful shopping trip.
when my pay comes. i only have half left to spend. and well. dun think imma spend it.
gotta save for xmas pressies!

i hate and love xmas! urgh!

adding on to the entire monday blues. i miss my darling boy super duper much! ):
another another factor is that tml imma have service and i gotta wake up at 6AM!
so i gotta pack my bag and slp like NOW!
nights world.

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:46 AM

Sunday, November 05, 2006

shooo. there goes my weekends!
its over before i know it! ):

sat morning woke up early and met darling for lunch.
slack ard for awhile and he has to leave.
he gotta attend a dinner at whoknowswhere to collect his ic!
my darling`s a singaporean now! keke.
saw him wearing formal. omg. totally can drool can.
i just cant peel my eyes off him.
but it feels weird keep staring at him. so i force myself to look elsewhere most of the time.
and that idiot dun let me take a photo of him! ):

it was a nice sat out with darling. (:
we had a nice week. wout quarrels or whatsoever.
and yes. all of a sudden the intial happy and warm fuzzy feeling`s back.
i feel like i had just fallen head over heels in love with him again.
its magical! (:

well. next week onwards he`ll be starting to work on shift.
no more lovely sat alr. so peeps! date me date me!
im so not gonna stay home on a sat!
hmm. i dunno how will this change affect us.
but i hope it wun be too much.
whatever challenges that come b4 us, we`ll grit our teeth, tighten our grip and move forward.
i love you darling! (:

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
11:53 PM

Saturday, November 04, 2006

my eyelids are not defying gravity.
trying so hard to keep them from gg southwards.

morning met belle had mac breakfast!
shopped ard.
din get to watch movie due to insufficient time on my side.
i got class at 4pm you see.
left at 3 and reached school on time.
jap tut was amazingly fun and hilarious today!
imma start conversing in jap! (:

aft class went dwn to ps and met darling for dinner.
just a simple dinner and a quick walk ard.
not long after it was home.

whee. the weekends are here!
embrace it with open arms. (:

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:33 AM

Friday, November 03, 2006

i haven break my record of reaching school on time and waking up on time yet!
yes yes! one last week to be lazy.
next week i`ll be in class on time! i swear!

late for acctgs. lecture entire day. so freaking tired la.
aft the last lect i bus`d dwn to amk for tuition.
and yes. i really wanna puke blood.
i have no idea how to make her listen anymore
my patience is slowly wearing off
i just need to crack my brain and think of something interesting
an interesting way of teachin her!
her exams over. tuition back to twice a week. and yeah!
my after school life is so ruined! hahah.

im so lazy to start on my proj. will do so on sunday i guess.
-crosses my fingers-
tml gonna go school for jap tut.
meeting belle sweetheart in the morning! yayness! i miss her like crazy! (:

last sun out with darling

he rather plays sudoku on his phone then entertain me! ):

his favourite past-time which i hate alot cause it stinks!

i have no choice but to entertain myself!

and so he finally willing to take a pic with me! (:

and i kinda love this pic! ((:

see! he just have to show his unwillingness all over his face! ):

at the end of the day! my darling still loves me loads! ((:
i love you loads too! (:

nights peeps. stay tune for more pics taken on the wedding! (:

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
1:24 AM

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

woah! 3 days in a row. this cant be happening for real!
and yes. so much for trying to make my resolution work.
wtf. guess i just gotta accept it. imma late queen who cant make it for classes in time.
and yes. i freaking hate my alarm clock. gotta get a new one with snooze button.
haha. so that it will contd to ring aft i hit the button. mannnnnn.

class today was alr starting to stress me out.
3 projects. yes. 3 freaking projects waiting to be done by midterm.
WTFFFFFF! at this rate i`ll really go nuts!
and im totally super duper lost!
one last week of being blur and lazy.
next week gonna be a better week and im gonna start my fighting for As again!
(:

deadbeat tired. lesson at 10 tml! prays that i`ll not oversleep again!
nights world.

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
11:06 PM

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