Friday, March 21, 2008
i`ve hit 500 entries. and im contemplating of moving again.
another chapter of my life has begun.
the purpose of this blog has been long gone.
thou my patience has far exceeded my expectations, the waiting is tiring and trying.
thou i can never move on completely but whatever stands before us aint promising
it has been more than a year and there wasnt much that you did show`d me that a second time would be possible
so.. im still considering..
anyway anyway imma healthy girl who had her flu jab and medical checkup all done.
(:
gosh. when i went for the blood test i almost died.
i was never squirmish abt needles, but when i look down and saw my blood gushing out i almost fainted.
LITERALLY. saw my reflection and noticed how pale i was. omg.
now its a lil bruised and i hope it would be fine soon.
last night met the NYJCians for dinner at chomps.
its always good to see them. esp jiam and hou shun. they bring tonnes of laughter to me.
after dinner headed over to coffeebean for more slacks and jokes
how i wish we`ll never grow up. really really miss those NY days w them.
they are the reason why i never regret gg to JC. (:
it was 12ish when my silly boy came over and pick me up.
he was really silly. made an unnecessary trip to tpy which i dont uds why. lolx.
and so he successfully made it to srgn grds. acc`d him while he had his dinner aft midnight.
went back his place and watch tv before cabbing home in the wee hours.
the dependence is getting too much for me to handle.
i know i`ll miss him like mad when im away for my trip. ):
something has been on my mind for sometime too. still thinking if i shld tell him.
like what she says, it will affect me somehow. i guess it does.
one way or another i would put myself in her shoes and i feel like crap.
argh! tell me what shld i do? what could i do be totally happy?
whatever. gonna spend the rest of my time w him before i leave. (:
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:40 PM
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
"its not the person. its the memories."
i dont want to ; but i have to
as time pass and the happiness he is giving me
i would have to move on and get over you
but a part of me would always love you
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
3:19 PM
overslept. din make it for checkup ytd so im gonna go down today.
met aggy and jen aft their flu jab in town to catch the 1625 sky of love.
omg. the guy was totally droolicious!
the show was too draggy for my likin and its kinda predictable but still the tissue was soak`d to the bones.
90% audience left the show sniffling. the other 10% is for ppl like jen and that blardy bastard behind that cant stop kicking my chair.
FWAH!
aft movie was shopping and slacks at lido macs.
near 11 and it was home.
otw home and even when im back home it was phone w my silly boy.
(:
it has been long since someone would talk to me while i walk home to ensure that im safe.
it has been really long!
i cant wait for weekend to come!
((:
surprise on friday that would be it. but still.. am planning.
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
2:43 PM
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
today is marvellous monday! (:
woke up early and made my way dwn to carol`s place w mei
to send my precious lil boy to class ; his very first day
its always such a great joy to see him
after him running up and down finally got him over to the centre
guess he was kinda nervous / excited abt school too as he din even finish his breakfast
and when the gates were shut, we stood on different sides
he started crying but there was only so much we could do before the tch whipped him away and shut the door. ):
and so the 3 of us went for breakie at macs went back to her place and get ic before making our way to the clinic to get our flu jab.
everywhere is running out of flu jab and the clinic we went we had the last 2.
great. had it over and done with. one less thing on my mind.
mei left to submit her enrolment thingy while we slowly walk`d back to the centre and wait for his class to end. (:
glad to see him running out of class w a smile on his face. (:
went back home and he must have been starving. gobble`d dwn his lunch before fooling ard w me.
the lil call he had with him makes me smile. i hope that call did cheer him up at work a lil.
bathe`d him milk`d him before shopping in town while he`s napping.
and so it was a pretty decisive shopping day for 2 of us.
bought more dresses in bugis before moving on to town to get the bday present for my silly boy. and a lil more shopping for carol.
bus`d back to amk to get the water bottle for jayden before heading home.
whilst on my way to amk, silly boy called me and we talk`d.
am surprised that he called and am happy to talk to him.
talk`d till carol angry then we hung up. haas.
went back to see a triggerly happy boy who was so mischievious.
watch`d tv as i was starting to get exhausted and waiting for silly boy`s call
finally at near 10 he called went dwn to meet him
drove me home aft bringing me over for my ice cream fix. (:
with every single day ; single minute that pass im falling deeper
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:26 AM
Sunday, March 16, 2008
an image form`d after her words ; the words that sting
im hanging on a rope dearly for fear that i`ll fall to death
clinging on for so long not knowing what to do
all of a sudden another rope appeared behind me
it will take me grave courage to let go of the current one and grab hold of the other that will ensure me salvation and i know that i`ll be happy
that`s how i feel ; the courage is nowhere to be found now
and have to let go of what the lil hope that i`ve been pinning on for my life
all of a sudden i feel so lost and empty
i do feel stress too. despite the understanding the patience you showed.
i guess if i really take this step it will be the bravest thing i ever done.
i know i will take the step. slowly but surely.
the first thing that im gonna do is to refrain myself or any temptation to contact him
im determined this time round. cause he deserves the best from me.
(:
actually ytd im surprised w the way he treat me. the openess with it just caught me in surprised and yes i am happy with the openess he has. (:
i could feel myself falling for you
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
8:47 PM
it was the anticipated sat once again. (:
surprisingly i woke up at 9 despite slping at 5am the previous day.
slack in bed while talking to my triggerly happy 18 yr old sis who cant stop her fascination w her new toy.
games shall be put in for that troublesome girl soon. haas.
and it was 30 mins later before she leave to meet her friends and me up and about.
called silly boy make sure he`s awake before preparing myself for the happy sat!
and he went back to slp making me wait till 1130 before picking me up.
went over to AV`s new office!
i was ecstatic to see marco and jason. it has been AGES since i last saw them and im really really happy to do so. and i shall see how the childcare goes and i would love to work w them again. (:
and so i was just there doing nth. REALLY!
ran some errands w him before returning to office to start calling for delivery.
he started his briefing and such. while i just sit there waiting for delivery to arrive.
food came and everybody was curious who am i. HAAS!
after introducing me as the girlfriend he told them my nickname
i was like WTF. and questions started popping up and the entire blackboard was filled w my name when the higher levels were in the room talking.
FWAH.
after much decision it as suntec w them. and so the boys left first.
leaving me and mayvin or meyvin behind waiting for him.
while waiting for him we talked and stuff.
and yes the ex popped up in the picture. she told me things too.
lil comparison was done and i do feel a lil happier.
went dwn to suntec ; bought tickets for 520 step up 2
had almost 2 hours before the show. ended up at arcade.
ufo machine`d and what i wanted din get instead there was the lil stitch for mei. hee.
and so he went for his maximum tune and i started to feel moody.
cause of what carol msg`d me and partly due to the cramps
went for a walk ard myself before returning back to arcade and look for him.
it was a lil nonsense before gg for our show. finally.
i totally enjoy`d the show. the dance moves the songs and everything!
woohoo! after movie and much decision we went home first.
parked his car and slacked for awhile before cabbing down to marina sq to meet carol and jh.
2200 rule #1. i cant believe mei told me that it was a nice show and i believed it.
-.-
after movie went dwn to all in for drinks.
he pool`d ; we play`d games and sang before it was time to go home.
like what carol said im lying to him. and yes aft my trip when im back.
it will be total abstinence. i will try my utmost to make it possible.
and well, carol said things to me. words that sting that pierce`d thru my heart
everythign she said was how i felt. just that i dont know how ; what to do
when it was almost 5 we went our different directions
silly boy was really tired and i felt kinda bad to drag him ard w me.
came home showered and it was bed. there was no need of my nightly music at all.
i enjoyed my saturday. thanks love. (:
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
6:43 PM
Saturday, March 15, 2008
woke up late this morning despite receiving morning calls
and i gave medical check up a miss. shall go down and do it next week.
have to, before my trip.
cant believe im gg for my holiday so soon!!! (:
and so i made my way to the centre and despite just havin 3 hours there
i totally enjoyed myself. the kids are so adorable.
even kids from other class are awesome.
they said bye to me despite not knowing who i am.
adorability - MAXIMUM!
i cant wait for work to start. like totally.
thou it aint gonna pay me much. but being able to spend time w kids im more than willing.
just a couple more jobs will do the trick. (:
train`d dwn to outram and slowly walk`d dwn to chinatown and wait for my silly boy.
after 30 mins of aimless shopping he finally arrived and we had dinner tgt w his aunt before proceeding to purchase the psp slim.
i really hope she like it. i really do.
drove dwn to vivo waited for his cousin before gg home all tgt.
hehs. the girls watched tv while the boys changed water for the smelly tanky.
slack ard before heading home.
came home and yes my surprise worked only half way.
managed to see the disappointment on her face but the surprise factor i wanted i din get it.
):
nvm. as long as she has her gift im happy alr.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BABY SIS! (:
as we`re talking online things the convo point towards my weakness.
i appreciate the confidence you have in the both of us
i really appreciate you and everything you do
more time is all i need.and you of course. lets hope that the one day will be here soon.
thank you for your patience.
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
4:29 AM
Friday, March 14, 2008
i look around me
and i want you to be there
cause i miss the things that we shared
look around you
it`s empty ; and you`re sad
cause you miss the love that we had
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
3:27 AM
oh yeah. now its my turn to feel unwell. and i shall blame it on the weather.
i love rainy days esp in the morning when i wake up but not when im abt to go out or when im out.
and so i met carol at ps for dinner
and yes once again im late. shit. i cant seem to shake this habit of mine!
thai express! yummy! (:
both of us were really damn full ended up walking over to far east
to aid digestion
found her shop and thank god we made it in time before they close
and after much decision she made her purchase.
its really nice and i hope he will like it and appreciate it
dont understand how can guys really take things for granted
just a lil appreciation will make us feel really happy if you ever know.
whatever.
medical checkup.sit in lesson. psp shopping.
that`s what gonna happen tmr
im looking forward to the psp shopping. (:
cause i`ll have you next to me.
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
1:22 AM
Thursday, March 13, 2008
i can just forget abt UNSW.
2.77
fark it man.
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
3:54 AM
yayness. im employed as of 1st april onwards. it aint any april`s fool joke ay.
i din do well during the interview din get to ask the questions i wanted
and so i gotta seek for help and see how it goes tmr.
friday i`ll be gg down for a couple of hours and have a feel of how its gonna be like.
(:
happy happy only.
roam`d ard TM and CS while waiting for wei wei to end work.
and we went to ikea for our long awaited MEATBALLS!
(:
am a happy girl who had her fill of meatballs.
shopped ard and did buy things. and now i gotta start thinking what to do with it.
haas.
oh wells. tmr gonna be aimless chatting online before i leave my place and meet carol for dinner.
last night or rather this morning in the wee hours the msn convo i had with him brought a smile to my face
i din know i could feel this way again.
(:
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
2:54 AM
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
mon was K in the noon w chi and wm.
and i skipped spin w my girls ended up having dinner at chomp chomp w them and all the boys.
haas. its good to see so many familiar faces again. (:
but yes. one familiar face made me felt all jittery and awkard
thank god i have chi w me. (:
aft dinner we went all different directions and kb sent me home.
mwahaahaa. i love to sit car car. (:
came home. showered. help`d mei w her enrolment packed my stuff and waited for the call.
it came and i left. nights out. hehs.
purpose of that was to ensure i am able to wake up in the morning for the 11am briefing.
ended up i contd slpin and silly boy went for it alone. mwahaahaa.
had my fill of slp and waited for him to be back
we ordered sushi cause of my craving
and so that sakae jumbo was my breakfast lunch and dinner
(:
it was almost half done when i felt really full and he has to finish everything. mwahaahaa.
slacked ard more and watched more tv before his car`s back and he sent me home.
simplicity is such a bliss.
i guess he gave me the courage to move on. but somehow a part of me is still w him.
and well. finally the interview is set. tmr at 330pm.
and i jolly well gotta turn in soon. or else i`ll turn up as a panda and no kids will like their cher to be a panda. haas.
(: the new photographer.
in the arms of his dreaming abt you. its a sign i would say.
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
2:49 AM
Monday, March 10, 2008
just when i was starting to feel happy cause how a simple saturday like yesterday could make me feel so blissed once again things went the other way.
i was really torn apart by the 2 different convos i had previously
i feel like a 2-headed snake and if she ever finds out.
she will hate my guts for it. cause if im her, that`s how i`ll feel too.
ignorance is bliss. i hear them say.
but now all i could do is only feign ignorance. and i wonder how long could this charade goes on.
i just want to be happy. is that even too much to ask for.
stupid cupid.
companionship was all that im looking for.
but if this carries on, im sure i will start to get serious abt it
and risk getting hurt again.
fark all`s that on my mind right at this moment.
fwah!
but oh boy! i think im falling in love with you
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
2:04 AM
Sunday, March 09, 2008
woke up ytd and was looking forward to the rest of the day.
(:
went over to silly boy`s place for lunch. had my har gow! (:
and i was really happy. haas.
was supposed to watch kungfu dunk. but the link was fark`d
so ended up watching saw 2.
and yes i iron`d a mountain full of clothes but somehow was happy abt it. hehs.
reach`d home near 8 for dinner as mummy`s back
so happy to see her again. i miss my mummy!
mj`d a lil before im out again to meet the guys
it was ian`s birthday and it was really funny.
at the strike of 12, 2 cakes appeared.
and the candles total`d up to 66 years old.
it was really funny.and im glad to say that i wasnt drunk.
(:
and im home near 4.
today woke up and went for a movie w the ladies at home.
it was not a bad show. waterhorse. (:
home after that and daddy cooked crabby for dinner!!! (:
and now i gotta consider if i really want to splurge on mei`s present.
350.. sighz.
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
8:16 PM
Saturday, March 08, 2008
and friendster horoscope says :
If you are working on starting or strengthening or shoring up a romance today, you had better take it all the way! Have fun with it. Be over the top. Flirt to a ridiculous degree. Show the person you care about that to spend time with you is to feel good about themselves! Silly jokes, goofy slapstick, and groan-worthy puns will help you really make this person understand that you are someone special -- and unique! How could anyone resist your lighthearted joy?
hmmm..
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
1:42 AM
met ting and chi for dinner this evening.
it was good time w my girls. aft woofing down dinner we just sat there a lil more and slack.
walked ard and we ended shopping.
haas. at the end of the day each of us snagged something home.
im happy cause i got something to wear tmr.
(:
after shopping its time to rest our feet and have some tea.
ended over at swensens and we had our lil treat!
haas. guilty treat more like it.
but the apple crumble was really too much. i cant understand why anybody like it.
i hate it. it shall be my first and last.
and it was train back home.
i miss all the good times spent w my girls. i look forward to more of such time.
(:
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
1:21 AM
Friday, March 07, 2008
saw this somewhere and i think its somehow true.
w regards to him whose birthday falls within the range May 2nd - May 14th
You have low self-esteem, and very picky. You are artistic and like to fall in love, but you let your love pass by, by loving with your mind, not your heart.
i do want to believe that the last part does applies to you.
if only you din think abt things too much the other time perhaps we would still be happy.
and this is what it says abt me :
You are attractive, and active. You never hide your feelings, and express everything that's inside. But can be selfish at times. You want to be noticed, and don't like to be treated unequally. You can brighten up people's day. You know what to say at the right time, and you have a good sense of humor.
hmmm. how appropriate. (:
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
3:41 PM
and so it was my first attempt towards the healthy lifestyle.
went for a near 40 mins swim. am proud of myself as it was almost a non-stop swim.
(:
but now my limbs are paying for it! ):
i want massage!!!!
and so aft my swim had dinner and waited for aggy`s grand arrival.
bought some drinks and we went over to tpy gardens to slack
(:
it was near 11 and we went home.
was dead beat tired that i ended up slacking before the tv before i hit the sack.
and today.. gonna meet up with my girlies for dinner. (:
and yes! soon it will be sat! cant wait for it to come. (:
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
3:19 PM
Thursday, March 06, 2008
FWAH! im bored to death at home.
shall go for a swim like now. its a good start to my healthy lifestyle! (:
go east on sunrise highway
turn left at carman`s avenue
go right at the first stoplight
and i`ll be outside waiting for you
oh, i`ll be waiting for you
and he said im like a drug to him
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
6:49 PM
and they say sagittarius is most compatible w aries.
and he is an aries.
hmmmmm......
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
5:14 PM
i think i have split personality. like seriously.
one moment happy. one moment emo.
and i saw this somewhere...
today we broke up
you told me to meet someone better than you, and be happy
you`re just like all the other guys
what happened to when you told me that you loved me
honestly, i dont want you to be happy
what am i going to do if you really forget about me?
im in so much pain, more pain than i can bare
because im still in love with you
yes boy. im still in love with you
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
2:46 AM
and yes. its wonderful wednesday! ((:
overslept and was late to meet belle.
she acc`d me for lunch and we walk`d ard before sitting down at coffee bean w no purchase and just talk for a couple of hours before she left
and me home. was too tired. needed a nap super badly.
and yes it was raining crazily. -.-
had a nap woke up and made my way to city hall
met silly boy went for the seminar it was boring till i wanted to die
i felt so bad for making him go w me
we left mid way and went for dinner.
yummy yummy dinner.
walk ard bugis and waited for the horrendous 51.
it was almost an hour wait. we almost died. like seriously.
went back his place just to get his car and send me home.
(:
it amazes me how simple things like this could make me happy.
perhaps its the honeymoon period
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
1:41 AM
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
your smell your presence your smile
i will nv get enough
i do miss those times walking down the streets hand in hand
sitting at the playground talking abt everything
and have the feeling that nothing matters anymore as long as i have you
but i know the moment`s gone and will nv be back
i should try to run but i just cant seem to
cause every time i run your the one i run to
cant do without what you do to me
i dont care if im in to deep
i miss that you who would stay home on sunday cause you need to iron your clothes.
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
1:07 AM
i had a terrific tuesday! (:
despite waking up early and get ready for interview, i was dressed up to the nines just to central for brunch and some grocery shopping.
-.-
came home chat online for awhile before having a nap
and i had a really weird dream.
weird combi and pretty funny too
woke up to a msg that made me smile. (:
and yes i manage to meet up w him today!
he came over picked me up and it was 1720 jumper at cathay
dinner at ps thereafter and it was back to tpy
drove to our usual spot to chill and when it was 10ish im home!
and im super tired ; gonna have an early night
meeting belly sweetheart tmr! so happy! it has been forever since we last meet up!
((:
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:09 AM
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
really hope to meet mr busy man tmr.
i am missing you. i really do
and i guess im gonna love you forever
(:
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
2:38 AM
and so it was town w aggy and chicky rice in the evening
walked ard and ying join`d us for coffee thereafter
discuss`d abt the trip and its more or less settled
just chilllax for awhile before silly boy called and said he would be coming by to send me home
and so aft my toilet trip, me and ying left aggy and mat at spin
while we walk over to paragon`s taxi stand
and yes we send ying home before i reach home
like what aggy said, he just travel dwn by cab to send me home
(:
i wonder why something that simple could make me smile.
或许被人疼是幸福的。对吗？
once again the invisible wall i`ve built is starting to show
he said he will give me time, give me time to walk out of the shadow
we shall see..
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
2:18 AM
Monday, March 03, 2008
there`s a war going within me
i do empathise w her but there`s only so much i can do
i wonder how long will the hidden facts be kept away from me
will truth surface if i probe?
although im cruising along i do afraid somehow
just like what jen said, i wonder
will the wrongs make it right?
the fear is somehow overwhelming
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
3:01 AM
its picture time baybee!
Fateful Friday
oh yes. we often amazed ourselves w the number of pictures we took the next day. it was never that much in our memory.
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
2:32 AM
great. with only like <6 hours of slp woke up and met sis
went dwn to bishan`s triumph warehouse sale and yes i did manage to get a few stuff but im still angry. what i want no size. what i dont want have plenty of sizes. always liddat. ok. not plenty but at least they have size. fwah!
aft that went dwn to tpy central acc her for the haircut
she looks not too bad thou. (:
i really wanna applaud her for always being able to embrace new hairstyles.
i know i old fashioned but i do fear changes. in all ways.
received a call, won some lucky draw shit frm career fair ytd
went down and collected a crocodile tee which im still deciding which guy to give it to
haas.
met granny and mei for dinner
glad that granny enjoyed her dinner at tao`s.
(:
its the first time in life that i could splurge like that and i would really love to pamper her.
am chatting w wei. and perhaps i could get a job at hers.
(:
just something to get some income and pass my time. (:
shallsee how it goes tmr.
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
1:43 AM
Sunday, March 02, 2008
my late nights are really turning my body clock ard pretty badly
woke up at 2 when im supposed to meet chin at 130
ended up at mandy`s place abt 3 plus had late lunch and it was mj!
and yes aft hours of brain work it was only 50cents profit.
lolx.
and well. went home and changed and it was zouk w aggy and her friend and friends.
lolx.
and yes wasted was what i`ve becomed.
totally wasted. and i just hate that feeling.
and yes i did amazing stuff too.
something happened that really upset me quite abit too.
woke up and the whole of today was horrible.
moody and feeling sick.
thanks for the ride my silly boy
it was career fair w my girls. dinner and met carol and jh.
lido 2350 2 faces of my girlfriend
its just a so so movie. but its fine. shrugs.
walked to mustafa and splurge a lil there!
i wish i can own all the watches in the world! i seriously do! ((:
near 5 and it was home. dead beat tired.so nights world.
you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
6:21 AM
