boy, you left your footprints on my heart__

Friday, May 30, 2008

i did something that im not proud of.
perhaps out of insecurity out of curiousity.
but her presence bugs me
from pity to nonchalent to detest
and perhaps jealousy
i guess i just have to live w it and tell myself that feigning ignorance would be the best.
cause i believe what i felt is real
(:

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
2:05 AM

monday went by and well i`ll need another month before i could ask the doc more questions pertaining to my situation.
but i suppose its getting better since the bleeding has stopped.
thanks to those who care. really appreciate.

the bf has gone for his reservice and i miss him plenty.
no more occasional texts and beforebedcalls. :(
just hope that this weekend will be an enjoyable one.

anyway it has been a fruitful week so far as i`ve managed to catch up w a handful of old pals.
mon night was w maneka ; wed night w alyy and tonight w belle
on the way to meet belle eugene call`d
just happen that he was nearby and so he acc`d me throughout my entire train ride.
(:
im glad i have such friends in my life. they make my life worthwhile.

the long awaited friday is here. cant wait for it to be over. cant wait to meet my darling boy.

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
1:52 AM

Sunday, May 25, 2008

i enjoyed my weekend so far. (:
fri night came home after work to wash up and pack my getaway bag
met him at central aft his work ; travelled down to sin ming and we went prawning once again
but this time w a better crowd, there was 6 of us in total
me being the only girl w no one to gossip w made me felt a lil sad
and no prawn caught at all made me even more depress

it was a depressing night. no prawns luck night. :(
it was home shower and sleep.

sat morning came wout breakie and slack`d ard at home till evening then we are happy to leave the house
just a short few hours at vivo walking ard talking looking at things before gg back home
omg. i fell in love w this pretty black dress from river island.
its so classy and all. but its too much.
too ex and its not something that i`ll wear regularly or casually.
so no point.

came home showered watched saw 4 and it was sleeping time
am really dead beat tired.
and today is sweet sunday!
he really make an effort to wake up early and acc me for mac bf.
really appreciate it alot. thou he is goddamn tired he still force himself to wake up and go w me
and the blardy mac is like on sale.
entire kovan residents have to be there. waited for blardy 30 mins before its my turn to order
and i will definitely complain if there wasnt any more breakfast.
but thank god there was and we had a happy breakfast.
(:
went back aft patrolling ard heartland mall and watch`d disturbia
wanted to leave when his training starts ; but his entire living room was filled w humans that i din know what to do but to stay in his room and use the net
haas. and so when it was quarter past five we left his place
met the rest at heartland mall before bus`in down to tpy tgt
guess that`s the perk of him working in tpy. (:
a lil more time tgt
settled my AIA stuff before coming home

am getting frustrated w blogger. and getting tired.
am getting a lil nonchalent abt tmr`s appointment.
just cant be bothered anymore. and how i wish everyday is saturday so i can have him next to me.
guess he`s really my way back into love.
(:

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
8:59 PM

Thursday, May 22, 2008

there is only one song in my head now.

"keep bleeding ; keep keep bleeding"
lets hope alls well when monday`s come.
fwahhhhhhhhhhhhh

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
2:24 AM

and the grad pics are upppp!!! (:

just short of jen jen

my dearest aggy ho ho

yinki sweetheart

i love my buddy

close to my heart

oh yes! mr tripppp!

mummy dearest

my sweet parents

all i need is a broom and i can go flying! lolx

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
1:10 AM

yoohoo! officially graduated! (:
it was a mad rush in the morning before sitting in TCC listening to all the opening speeches and dozing off before all 4 courses went on stage and collect our cert. lolx.
i was separated from everyone i know and i just sat there w nobody to talk to.
i seriously wanted to DIE!
fwahhh.

i felt a lil bad making them come down for just a min of stage glory which aint that all glorious after all. haas.
my three years of midnight oil ; hardwork and effort
endless stress over exams and projects in TP has come to an end
am feeling a lil sad somehow but its gonna be all fine. (:
it was a lil mad dash for the refreshment line as i was getting a lil way too hungry before taking photos.
it was really sweet when i saw mum and dad walk down the stairs hand in hand.
i hope that in the future i`ll have a husband who`ll be like that too
haas.
anyway am waiting for photos to be transferred over to me from aggy and i`ll post them up soon.
woohoo!!!

home and slept for 6 hours str8 before making my way out to meet aggy and jen for some chillax before the day end.
you have no idea how much i love my girls! (:

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:48 AM

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

graduation tmr. and reality hits back.
what am i gonna do with my life. where the hell am i gonna study my degree?
i really cant bear to leave singapore now.
im not able to be as strong as hua hua. i`ll be terribly homesick.
osip taught me that.
i`ll miss my family my pals my girls and my love
thou i love my current job its just not realistic enough for me at the moment
i would love to enjoy higher spending power
i would love to enjoy better lifestyle where i can pamper myself incessantly
few more months before i really sit down and start planning my life properly

anyway i had a wonderful vesak day ytd. (:
woke up aft a few hours of slp and went over to his place
was forced to watch the secret video again and yes am feelign alil more positive abt life
aft that was over to amk hub for made of honour.
not a bad movie. kinda like it. thou its a chic flick but he watched w no complaints.
just wanted to spend more time tgt so ended up calling mei out and the 3 of us went prawning at sin ming.
haas. my virgin experience. it was wonderful thou a lil scary at times.
caught plenty and brought it home.
was a lil aft 10 when we left. he sent us home before gg back.

i just love spending time w him wout any external disturbance
eg. his work and his phone ringing
i hate to think abt how blessed i am
i hope i can reciprocate at 75% of it or at least half of whatever he`s giving to me
and yes mum know abt it and she`s quite alright w it. (:
i just hope that mum likes him when they finally meet.
i hope this happiness aint shortlived. im gonna cherish every single moment w him.
go through thick and thin ; happy times sad times and angry times
i want to make it through the rain tgt w you holding on tgt tightly
(:

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
1:33 AM

Monday, May 19, 2008

he said he treasure it that`s why he`s not using it.
i tot what nonsense what logic was that
but today a second person agreed with that
and somehow its makes me happy.
(:

so im gonna contd buying things for those that matters and not sulk when they dont use it. hehs. (:

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
4:52 AM

out for coffee and some fags
2 hours later im home feeling so much better
(:
thank you pal

all unhappiness have been lifted away
perhaps its the talk i had w him and the company and fags thereafter that make me such a happy girl
no more emo me
L0L!

im happy and im turning in like finally and im gonna see him tmr again.
i guess that`s how love supposed to feel
heartwrenchin and sweet at the same time
i love you bao bei. (:

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
4:49 AM

in the end it was you

no no no

i never would`ve thought

you'd be the one

that i`d be with in the end

i never would`ve dreamd

that you and me

would be together in the end

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
1:41 AM

Sunday, May 18, 2008

my weekend went by like a blur w nth much to rmb.
fri night aft work was over at wei`s place

and we ate plenty. i seriously mean plenty. haas.

but the choc milk was heaven! (:

did mask before the 2 of us slp and we had an improvement on the timing to work. haas.

breakfast at work ; happy sat at work

and yes the 2 of us din slp at all. haas. amazing hur.

must be the miraclemask

anyway aft work it was pretty much home.

waited for him to end work which took forever.

plans to catch movie was burst due to the poor time management.

this time he got a rabbit for me. (:

im really happy and i do love it. (:

aftwhich we went over to carrefour and bought sushi for dinner yo!

sat near the fountain and he just said that we look`d like runaway kids.

cab`d home shortly aft and i fell aslp aft shower

no idea im that tired too.

woke up this morning and he went out to work.

and i was home alone pretty much the entire day.

when he was back somehow we just got into a prettu heated fight.

so whatever. i left and am home emo-in till we just talk`d things out awhile ago

and i guess im gonna be out for a smoke or two in awhile.

yesh. that`s how boring my weekend was. so much for looking forward to it.

whatever.

mum`s gonna be back tmr. kinda look forward to it.

i miss my mummy dearest. (:

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
11:14 PM

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

i couldn`t turn on the TV
without something there to remind me
was it all that easy
to just put aside your feelings
if you didn`t notice boy you meant everything
and even though i really love you
im gonna smile cause i deserve to

you`ve wasted the time and chances i gave
im movin on rather well but i`ll still stop and stare at the past occasionally
one day you`ll realise what a fool you`ve been
by then you`d lost someone who truly loves you
and it`ll all be too late...

no idea why am i being like this. fwahhhhhh

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
1:37 AM

just some pictures to show..

my 18 month old 13 kg "son" darryl sweetheart

samuel boy who is so smalllllll

and yes mr handsome boy who is seriously naughty

and yes. i think im aneroxic. look at my emo face. haas.

my uber cute daddy dearest.

my masked man who i seriously love

and yes we are the happy couple who mask`s tgt. hehs

say hi to my gangster bf everybody

lastly, a tired me signing off.
xoxo

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
1:17 AM

finally after numerous tries im blogging at last
hopefully this will last.

despite going for plenty of medical checkups and felt that im healthy
my health is giving away bit by bit
bloating throwing up my meals and now cervical erosion
how perfect!
im worried sick and i hope that it will be nth serious.
):

and so here goes my weekend..
friday came home and started packing my cupboard before silly boy end work
so met him when his work ended and went over to do some grocery shopping
fri night finally completed the entire saw 3 movie
AT LAST! and i din fall asleep ; he was the one. hiak hiak.
sat mornin he left for work
woke up near noon and started preparing lunch for him
mine was not too bad but his was quite a failure i would say
i alr told him i dont know how to ; but he insisted so there he goes.
haas. and yes in the midst of pan-frying my salmon i was splattered w oil
):

met aggy for dinner in town and in search of her cheap and crappy mother`s day pressie
hehs.
aft dinner she left to meet her vocalist while we walked down to ps
din catch movie in the end but bump`d into telicia and her bf. hehs.
loitered ard in the arcade before moving on to loof to get my loots
bus`d home and when i got too tired he offer`d to give me a ride home
(:

indeed i am a bless`d lady with someone who is overloving me
(:
happiness is indeed bliss
i sincerely hope that this happiness aint shortlived.

anyway sat night i turn`d in to the security of his arms
tellign me that everything`s gonna be alright
thou im being comforted im still worried sick
aft him losing his temper at me i`ve finally went for checkup today.
whatever. specialist appointment next to find out the real reason behind all the unnecessary worrying. i hope.

and so on sunday went dwn to granny`s place for lunch.
its good to be back at her place once again.
i really regret unable to visit her often. i seriously need to plan my time well.
fwahhhhhhhhh.

its tuesday alr. 3 more days before my weekend!!

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:53 AM

Friday, May 09, 2008

since there`s no more you and me

it`s time i let you go

so i can be free

and live my life how it should be

no matter how hard it is

i`ll be fine without you

yes i will

i seriously and sincerely hope so.
but i`ll always love you boy

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:53 AM

wonderful. am finally online after much debating.
so just gonna chat a lil while check mails and stuff before turning in.
been trying to turn in early these days so that i could be energise for work and not have afternoon naps that frequently. (:

so far i am loving my job and i dont know how im gonna leave those kids when i finally decide to.
couldnt bear to leave them. they are really adorable.
the attachment is there thou it was just a short one month.
well. we shall see..

anyway tues met aggy jen and hua hua aft work for some spinning action
dinner over at ljs before hopping over to spin
it was a great time catching up with them
i guess in the near future it will be of such occasions that we`ll meet up
now that we`ve all graduated and have our very own "afterlife"
well.. really miss those days whereby we`ll be in school and could just meet up after classes and slack ard. gosh.
more of such sessions pls my dears...

i guess i have finally think it thru and came to a decision
perhaps the previous meet up with him really did me some good
friendship is all im asking from him now
cause im just so comfortable ard him that i could just talk abt anything and knowing that he`s there for me just makes me feel so much better.
no more waiting. i suppose.
i`ve given you a fair amount of time and chances but you turn it down everytime
so that`s how its gonna be
one day you will regret. im sure. haas. XP

my silly boy has asked for 195 kim keat ave as the new location
and i`ve been seeing him almost nightly for this entire week
and it just makes me so happy. i`ve finally found someone who could make me happy just by being next to me and not doing a single thing. (:
and yes! its finally friday!
weekend is here once again and im gonna embrace it with open arms.
wonderful weekend. that`s what he said.

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:37 AM

Monday, May 05, 2008

finally the bomb came.
$524.
its just the start of the month and with my measley pay im gonna pay for it
just being responsible.
no more shopping for the rest of the month unless i start to have extra cash coming in
fwah!

despite being the cause of my skyhigh bill ; i still love my boyfriend many aplenty. (:

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
12:12 AM

Sunday, May 04, 2008

great. im getting lazier and lazier to log on and blog.
and so here`s the summary of my week before i forget all abt it. (:

monday night after work it was huge emo time and i just headed home.
tuesday night i felt that im really getting way too emo for me to handle
needed to stay out a lil later before heading home.
there were just way too many a questions poppin outta my head
so i msg`d away and yes! there`s someone to spend a couple hours w me
waited for him at tpy ; picked me up and we just drove ard aimlessly
ended up at the usual chillout place for us and just talk`d
i felt so much better havin some questions answer`d
(:
if you`re reading this ; thank you very much
you will always be the one i run to and i have no idea why
you will always know how to make me feel better perhaps just your presence alone is enough to settle my unsettledness. (if this word even exist)

here comes wed w dinner after work w ting and chi at city hall area and some spontaneous activity planned as the next day was PH. and none of us is working.
hop`d over to dbl o and carol came down shortly
im sure we had a fantastic time minus all the other random guys shit
(:
again we 4 i`ll say.
aft dbl o went over to all in w my 2 sweethearts to look for him
i have no idea why was i piss but yes i was really pissed.
took forever before we finally found a cab and headed home
and yes it was another slpover at his again

mayday was a lil tiring as i woke up pretty early and tried to plan some activity
so headed home first to shower and change before meeting him along the way to ps.
settled his starhub stuff and had dinner at one of the japanese restaurant
omg. we ordered a helluva food that i was so bloated that i just wanted to DIE.
and yes i did in the end cause the food ended up in the drainage system when i got home.
bought tickets for ironman which was way too late for me and i was superbly tired but din want to be a wet blanket so went ahead w it
pop`d by all in for a round of drinks before our movie
it was not too bad a movie but i was really super tired that i ended up dozing off at certain parts.
hehs.

home`d after movie and friday was work again.

ikea aft work w wei wei. and we really shop`d like some aunties. mwahahah
but whatever i bought i seriously hope will help me organise my stuffs properly.
reached her place nearly midnight. showered and slp immediately.
really super super tired.

sat was work ; met aggy thereafter to get our graduation gowns back in school
i seriously miss tp and all the times i had in there w my girls.
thou there were unhappy times ; there were a whole load of fun w my girls ard too.
(:
after getting the grad gown travel`d to his place
i think i really looked like an idiot with a million and one thing to carry.
thank god i din insist on bringing home my ikea buys. haas.
slack`d ard a little before showering and changing and headed out!
((:
went over to cathay for my appointment with strip and yes it was a great experience
and yes i will definitely go for it again. (:
went over to ps for dinner w my silly darling boy after that
i dragged him to shop ard w me a little before heading home
(:
in the end we rented some dvd and watched at home last night

it is just a simple saturday w him. really really simple. and that`s enough to bring a smile to my face and make me feel bliss`d.

this morning he left home early for his morning roadshow at tamp.
and when i woke up wout him by my side i really felt ):
fwahhhhhh.
and soon sunday will be over soon and its another week before i could finally be with him again.
):

ok. and that`s my entire week for you. (:
another week is here ; hope all you have a great week ahead. (:

you`re a growing addiction i can`t deny
4:41 PM

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